The responsibility of One

... the beginnning of freedom is when you realise exactly what you are responsible for...

Good morning Francois.

Hi Frank!  Nice of you to drop in, or pop up, or whatever it is what you do…

Yeah, don’t you just love the way things can shift in your mind from moment to moment?  One moment something is not there and the next moment it appears.

Amazing!  Now what do you have in store for us today?

Ah, that is a very good question.  How many of you are there?

Frank, can’t you count?  There is only one of me.  Or are you trying to tell me something?  I’m schizophrenic… I have multiple personality disorder!?

Relax and listen up.  There are as many of you as there are people that know you, plus 2.

What!?  Hoe does that work?

Alright, I am sure you would agree that there is a real you – as you are – and a you that is as you believe you are.

Sure.

Those can be two very different things.  You have worked towards actualisation or mastery… the first thing we talked about in this regard is awareness, and accepting yourself as you are.  The second step, if you can call it a step, was practice – doing, believing and being in different ways – ways of respect, congruence and so on. 

Yes, I can recall the conversation and I can tell you all about the things I did to practice…

Good.  The point is that your real self and what you believe about yourself should be very close to each other, but still there are differences.

Sure.  And what about the rest? You said that I am as many as the people that know me, plus two.  I take it the two are the me as I am and the me as I believe I am.

Yes, that’s right. Think about this:  How does your brother know your mother and how is that different from how you know her?

Ah, I get it.  He has his own set of experiences and beliefs about her and that is how he knows her.  So do I, and so do everyone else.

Yep.  So how many people are in a relationship?

Six!

Right.  How complicated can that be?  Now, remember we also talked about you being responsible for everything you do, say, think and feel?

Sure.  That is easy enough and I have been practicing.

So is it fair to say that in any relationship there is your half of the relationship and someone else’s half, whatever kind of relationship it is – friendship, business, romantic…

Yeah, that sounds right.

You are responsible for what you do and say, and the other party is responsible for how they understand it and how they react.

No, wait.  The meaning of my communication is the response I get… Does that not imply I am responsible for the interpretation of my communication too?

No.  Repeat after me: I am responsible for what I say; you are responsible for what you understand.

Okay, I am responsible for what I say; you are responsible for what you understand.

You are responsible for your half of the equation – your own interpretations, your own actions, your own beliefs and your own garbage.  You are not responsible for anyone else’s.

Fair enough.  You say I am not responsible of what people believe of me, their opinions, what they say, even how they act towards me. I need to process that for a bit…

Sure.  One more thing.  Are you a thing or are you a process?

Well, if those are my only two options I’d go for process – there are things happening in me all the time and I am different from what I were last year. 

Good.  So if you could see your whole life as a line stretching from your birth to now, what does the flow of that process that is you look like?

Oh wow!  There are some stuck times, but I see mostly flow.

Nice.  Remember that there are two kinds of flow – there is the in-the-moment genius type of flow that is well known to many people, but there is also the flow of the process that is you over a long time.  You flow, whether you believe it or not.

Like glass that is actually a liquid.

You can use that as an analogy, but your shape and substance are so much richer than glass…

Amazing…

Now let me leave you and your amazement to ponder the flow of your life and how you have travelled the landscape of life as a river… and to learn from the times and places you experienced abundance effortlessly.

Thanks, Frank.  We chat again soon.

The Origins of Belief

Hi Francois

Hi Frank! Where have you been?

Well, I’ve been camping near the Rivers of Belief?

Where is that?

I’m teasing you, but you are old enough to know the music…

Ah, yes – Enigma.  Does that bring back a flood of memories!

I’m sure.  I have a question for you.

Why am I not surprised?

No, that’s not the question.  What I wanted to ask was: what makes us different from animals?

We walk on two legs, we are intelligent and we use tools.

OK, and how did all that start?

Our ancestors’ ancestors learnt how to do it and passed it on to their children, who did it better and better until we are what we are like now.  Perhaps our intelligence is a result of walking upright and using tools…

And what did the first humans do just before they learnt that they could use a tool, or walk upright?

They probably thought they should or could do it and then tried it.

So what resource or capacity did they need to take this first, very extraordinary step, while everyone else were still going on all fours and using their fists to crack nuts?

Aaah… I think I get it.  They needed belief.

Yep, spot on.  They needed the special kind of belief that says: I am able to do something new and I can foresee some benefits to that.

Hm.  Some evolutionary biologists may say you have it the wrong way around – that the capacity to think and project consequences developed slowly, and as a result of humans being able to manipulate tools and walk upright.

Sure.  Let’s colour this picture with a story…  Our character is called Hmmggh this time.  She was a very wise little girl and learnt many things from her mother and the other people in the troob.

Troob?

Well, it is not a tribe and not a troop, and it is both.

*Both laugh*

OK, then.  Troob.

Hmmggh learnt how to avoid dangerous animals and snakes, where to look for water, how to build a nest platform high in the trees, and how to behave in the troob.  Mostly she learnt by observing and emulating her mother and the others, but she also had a special way of learning.

Was she the only one with this gift?

No, all the children learnt like this and they still do today.  When Hmmggh was still a baby she was very curious and wanted to play with everything she could lay her hands on, including some very prickly thorns lying about under the trees.  Her mother watched her and saw her reaching out her hand to the ball of needle sharp spines, but she left her.  Hmmggh got the surprise of her life.  Pain!  She cried heartily.  Her mother came over and showed her the ball of thorns, saying shw! Then she pointed to another one and again said: Shw!  Hmmggh said: Shw!! Then her mother picked her up and gave her a bit of tender loving care.  From that day onward Hmmggh avoided thorns, and in the same way she learnt what was good for her and what not.

Ah, sweet.

Thanks.  The story is not done– she is not walking on her hind legs yet…  What would you say happened in this learning process? 

She learnt – so she is consistently doing things differently after the experience. She had to have some capacity to generalize: if this ball of thorns caused me pain then all similar things would.

Right.  Also note that she started ‘predicting’.

Yes, I see that.  Neat.

So let’s continue with our story, shall we?  Hmmggh learnt that most things in the veldt come in patterns and that there are predictable cycles in the seasons, weather, in the plants and animals, in days and nights.   She also knew that rain would make the grass grow, which will bring the grazers back and then they would have to be careful of lions.

So she learnt about cause and effect…

Right.  One day she found herself in a clearing in the savanna.  There were no trees for some distance around her and she knew that is was the right time of the year for the lions to be around.  As a matter of fact, she could smell them, but she did not know where they were and she was scared she would run into them if she just took off towards the closest trees.  And what was more was that the grass was longer than ever before.  She had to do something new, something different.

Or die.

Yes.  She remembered that she could see lions from afar when she was in a tree, so she knew she had to get her head higher.  There were no trees around.  She remembered that she could see better what is going on around her from the moment she lifted her body to climb into a tree.  So first she craned her neck, but still she could not see over the tall grass.  Then she lifted her hands off the ground as if she was going to climb a tree that was not there, and raised her torso.  Aha!  She could see over the grass.  But she slumped back to the ground.  She tried again and this time she used her arms in a different way, to balance her while she stretched with all her might to lift her head above the grass.  Oh, the effort!  But she managed it well enough to turn her head from side to side to scan the heads of the grass for movement.  She not only saw movement, she also saw the tail of a lion clearly sticking up in the air.  She knew she had not been spotted yet, so she ran in the other direction, keeping very low.

On two legs?

Nope, still on all fours.  But what do you think was the learning here?

Ah.  That if you tried new things that you have not done before, there will be benefits – life saving benefits at that.

Sure.  Can you see how this ‘insight’ could lend itself to trying out new things, doing things differently?

Yep.  First standing upright and turning around while doing so… then moving a couple of steps… and so on.  Yes, I can see how this capacity would lead to other things.  And I can also see how others would learn the new behaviour from her example.

So what would you say was the first belief?

I can see a thing that caused me pain and avoid it from happening again.

OK, good.  And the second belief? 

This leads to that leads to that…  So if I see this I know that that is coming.

No, that is still the first belief – cause and effect, with a known cause.

Alright.  To have the same outcome I can do something different.

Sure.  Same outcome, different cause.  Seeing the lions, not from a tree, but by standing up.

Hm.  I can.  I can generate my own cause for the effect I am looking for.  There is just a small gap between climbing into the tree and actually being in control of the cause of seeing danger from afar, and standing upright to have the same effect.  The realization is that “I” am in control of both causes in this example.  The tree becomes a tool… Hey!

Nice. Let’s move on.  Lions also learn, did you know?

I’m sure they do.

So after many generations of the troob being able to avoid lions successfully and even learning new ways of catching food and cracking nuts with stones, the lions learnt that they could ambush a person by chasing them in a certain direction and hiding a lioness in the fleeing person’s path.

That must have been disastrous for the troob!

Yes, and why do you think so?

Well, suddenly the thing they do cause them to flee right into a trap, so the effect down the line is different: death and not survival.  You can imagine the conversation up in the trees: “No I tell you, it works.  It has always worked.”  “No, no, no!  It’s not working any more.  We have to do something different again.”

Yep.  Some don’t see the danger in doing things the same way and some do see the danger…  The ones that don’t see the danger has generalized so strongly that they delete all other possibilities of both the cause of the people getting caught and the effectiveness of their ‘savanna tactics’.

Ah, I see.  Belief had become so strong that it is getting in the way of survival. For some at least.

Sure.  The troob presupposes that doing what they always did is effective, but here and there is someone that says, Aikona!  (No).  So let’s fast forward a couple of million years.

Moving along swiftly, then!

We are in Tibet where two Buddhist monks are standing in front of the monastery, discussing a flag billowing in the wind.  The one says: It’s the flag that is moving.  The other says: No, it’s the wind that is moving.  The visiting teacher, whose sermon the flag was announcing, walked past and heard the argument.  He said: Guys, guys, guys.  Look again.  It is mind that is moving.