Good evening Francois!
Hi Frank, nice surprise!
Yep, I thought I’d give you a break while you focus on important things. You know, starting a relationship, changing jobs and losing a family member are some of the most stressful things a person can experience and you had all three in a very short space of time.
True. Thanks for the mindfulness, my friend. If it had not been for many years of work-on-self, I think I would not have come through all that so well.
Hm. Tell me about this work-on-self…
OK, let me start by saying that I believe only me can work on me, really, but that there are two other equally important parts to the work – God and other people. But as I said, I can work on me, but not on them.
I get it… What do you mean by work?
Oh, by work I mean that I have had many years to observe myself and others, and make adjustments to how I see things, how I deal with things and how I express myself. It is not only about expressing myself clearly, that I am understood and accepted as I am, somehow I was also aiming at actualisation.
Ah!
Yes, and what I noticed in myself and others is a path to get there.
Mmmm – I am sceptical about generalisations, recipes and one-size fits all solutions, Francois.
I taught you well!
*both laughs*
Yes, that is a good point. I may be noticing the path in others because that is what I have come to know. The sequence may not be the same for all, but I have a feeling that the various ‘steps’ have a way of getting one there. And they are not definite steps, 1, 2, 3… The distinctions between the processes each represent are not nearly clear cut, but the labels are useful.
So give me a broad outline of your model, please.
With pleasure! My starting point is becoming more aware of myself, discovering who and what I am, and all that I am and want to become. Of course this is only completely meaningful if I also discover what people are about – how humans are built and how they function, so to speak.
And for that you need the trust, respect and flexibility we’ve already spoken about…
Absolutely! NLP is a useful tool because it gives a neutral and clean ‘user guide to the human mind’ - not loaded with dogma, unverifiable theories, myths and esoteric mumbo jumbo.
How on earth then do you get acquainted with the third leg of your triangle!? I mean religion – spirituality – is all about unverifiable theories, stories, statements, inspirations and given laws.
You mean how does one become aware of God?
Yeah, and all the other spiritual beings and entities whose existence can neither be proven nor disproved?
Interesting point. What worked for me was to learn as much as possible of all religions, philosophies and thought systems. At the same time I must emphasise that knowledge for the sake of having knowledge is useless. It can take you only so far, and it is important that God can’t be known in the sense that we can perfectly understand Him. Awareness also has another dimension, not only knowing, but being aware with your senses.
I’m sure you have many insights to share about this awareness and your discoveries… When you’ve achieved enough awareness of yourself, people and God, what next?
Perhaps just a breath behind the start of self- and other-discovery is acceptance. Accepting that I am different from others, and sometimes that I was just the same as everyone else proved to be quite challenging to me! Then, of course there is also deciding which things can be changed and which should be accepted as a given. The acceptance of God’s existence and working, of course, is faith.
Mmmm… that special kind of trust. Did you blindly accept everything?
Oh no! I questioned and challenged everything. And I still do.
Ask me about it.
*both chuckles*
Not everything you see and hear should be believed, Frank. Remember, believing is seeing. So even my own beliefs did not remain unquestioned. But I can say that when my discovery and acceptance have reached a certain level, my self confidence and confidence in myself, my confidence in others and my trusting them had grown noticeable. I guess it was because I now know what to trust myself with, and what to trust various kinds of people for. Perhaps my expectations have just become realistic and distinctive…
Interesting insight, Francois… And then? When you’ve learnt most of what was to know about being human and could confidently trust yourself and others for what you could be trusted, what next?
Then one must apply oneself. No use I (or anyone) has all the knowledge and awareness and confidence in the world and we don’t use it! Also, this is where I can ‘apply’ others by teaching and leading so that they can become aware and confident, and where I can so to speak apply God by being a blessing.
Ah… expanding awareness. You listened!
Yes, Frank. I’ve actually been quite busy researching and incubating, threshing, distilling, composing and nurturing these ideas the past six months. I studied a lot and somehow my other-than-conscious found my philosopher’s stone and elixir of life…
You did strike gold, it seems!
Yes, Frank. Gold is a great metaphor for actualisation, and alchemy is a great metaphor for the processes one goes through to get there. But I don’t want to make too much of the metaphor – I don’t want anyone to get lost in the mythology of the historical alchemists. Let’s just say the study of substances (awareness) and their combinations and interactions, with some degree of mastery – which ones could be useful (confidence and trust), has lead me to produce gold (actualisation). What was required, first, was to find the elixir of life (flexibility) and the philosopher’s stone (respect). Moreover, the alchemist needs other alchemists to learn from and contribute to. And perhaps the most important ‘law’ of the process is that only if God participates, the alchemist will actually produce gold.
What specifically did you do to start actualising?
Can I first comment on your turn of phrase for a moment?
Be my guest.
I have started actualising, I have not arrived yet. There is still much to learn! Perhaps making gold is not the true objective and one day I’ll discover that making water is my ultimate purpose. What I did was to write poetry. It helped a lot with awareness and discovery. I read a lot and met many different people. I am applying myself in team and creative situations and have started to make friends in different ways – finding new love, finding my old comrades again, sharing whatever love that is appropriate. This is me. I think every person must work out for themselves what exactly they could do.
I must go think about that. A good leader when necessary normally tells you what to do, not how. You are giving the how, but not the what…
Yeah, how is that different or the same to religion and philosophy?
A topic perhaps for another time. I am tired and need to go simmer.
You do that, and I’m sure you’ll find some gold at the bottom of the pot, perhaps just a smattering… just enough to let you know you have started to master the alchemy of an expanded awareness.
Thanks, and good night, Francois
Good night, Frank.
